“But the greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.” – Elisabeth Moss on her marriage to Fred Armison
When I read about Elisabeth Moss’ traumatic marriage and discovering who her husband really was, I could relate – and I think that most of us can. Who hasn’t gotten involved with someone only to discover that they are not at all who they pretend to be? The cover that doesn’t match the book. Unfortunately, you can’t find out who the person really is without getting involved. You have to open the book to know its contents.
So what lesson can you learn from these experiences? How can you do things differently the next time around? How do you not make the same mistakes?
Well, it’s not the other person who’s going to help you much with this. You can analyze their words, their behavior, their appearance to look for clues as to their alter ego. This is dangerous because anything that this new person does or says that is the same as what the two-faced ex-lover did or said, is an alarm bell – a sign that they are the same (and yet they too share some of the traits of a normal human being).
Or you can analyze yourself. When you were with the liar, didn’t your gut tell you something? Wasn’t there this feeling in the pit of your stomach? Couldn’t you feel it in your bones that something was wrong? And didn’t you ignore all of these signs for lack of evidence? Here’s a lesson to be learned:
It isn’t the other person who is going to tell you if they are genuine, good, normal… Only you can know – and you cannot know this on a brain level, but on a body level.
The answers to your questions are within you, not out there, not with someone else. It’s time to start listening to the right person.