Losing It

You've got to get lost to get found

It’s an Odd World: When the Odds Are in Your Favor and When You Are at Odds with the World

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Some things are just meant to be – and some things aren’t.

The Dirt Road to the Nuclear Blast Site

When things are meant to be, the entire universe conspires to help you along your way. Obstacles don’t feel like obstacles. Letdowns don’t disappointment you. You are a trajectory heading forward and you are invincible. Adversaries bounce of your rubber bubble shield and you don’t even flinch.

When things aren’t meant to be, everything goes wrong – not just the thing that is not meant to be – every single thing goes wrong! You have problems in your relationship, conflicts at work, you fall sick, you miss your train, you break a heal… everything goes wrong. And all will keep going wrong, until you learn to read these signs, until you accept and identify what is not meant to be. Stop pushing for it. Abandon the objective. Change trajectory and find your path again.

I experienced both cases a couple of years ago. An opportunity came my way and I immediately identified it as something that was meant to be. The sign appeared and I understood it. I undertook all the necessary actions and made all the necessary sacrifices to make this possibility a reality. These actions and sacrifices, which had been so difficult and impossible in the past, were so much easier that time around. I even thought I had lost the opportunity at one point and yet that did not throw me – I knew that I would do it some other way in the future. The opportunity re-appeared and became reality (with much hard work – that due to the circumstances felt easy).

A couple of months after this opportunity first appeared, I met someone and immediately plunged into an emotionally charged relationship with him. Less than a week after the first kiss, insomnia kicked in. I just could not sleep. My brain buzzed all night like a tube light. I became really anxious. I caught a series of colds and my stomach just woudn’t digest anything anymore.
But I didn’t give up on the relationship. It lasted a tumultuous 18 months and when it finally ended, when I finally knew that it was truly over and there was no going back, I managed to sleep again. I only fully understood at what point everything was linked when I noticed that every time my former lover got a little too close, the insomnia would flare up again.
In addition to my body screaming no to the relationship, the world was screaming it too. I was always late for work, appointments, dinners… and until then I had always been incredibly punctual. But somehow the private and public transport system had stopped working for me – but only for me! Also, all the plants that my lover ever came into contact with died – the roses that he gave me for Valentine’s Day were dead the next day, the plants that we bought together didn’t last a week, the plants that he looked after when I was away died within days of getting them back. He killed the life in my life.
I think maybe someone or something was trying to tell me something.

Daily Prompt: Against All Odds

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin cc

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