Losing It

You've got to get lost to get found

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Ode to a Bastard

Thank you for making this hard on me.
After cheating, abusing, and lying,
Calling me jealous, paranoid, crazy,
You expect me to save you when you’re crying.

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That Bitch Called Karma

Karma’s a bitch… and boy, do I love her!

She is my avenging angel. With her, I can outsource my vengeance. I can stop fantasizing about how and when I’ll get someone back for the knife that they stabbed into my back and have twisted around a few times. I can accept the blow, lick my wounds, and move on with my life.

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If I Could Turn Back Time

Everybody deserves a second chance. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. That’s what I thought and that’s the advice I followed (my own advice). I’m not sure where this advice came from – was it hope or fear? Or was it a case of nothing to lose? After all, by staying I was only risking finding myself at the same crossroads later. Little did I know, that that decision was the first chip at my self-esteem. After the second chance, came the third – after all, I had already given a second chance and I didn’t want that second chance to be for nothing. I was a gambler becoming more and more addicted and losing more and more self-respect and self-love. Just one more dollar and then I could win it all back. Just one more chance and then I would get all of the love back.

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Speak the Whole Truth – and Nothing but the Truth

I need to learn a language and I need to learn it now. I cannot wait until tomorrow. I cannot take a course and learn a little every week. I must know how to speak and understand it now. My sanity depends on it.

If I could speak any language, I would speak truth and I would interpret lies. I would hear the lies and translate them into truth, removing all the unnecessary mystery around it. In every lie, I would only hear the truth. The lies would dissolve leaving the meaning , the essence, behind. I would understand.

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